Starting over

tomorrow i am starting my 3rd cycle of my bc, hopefully this means i will start to not being extremely hungry anymore. i am also going to buy good sneakers tomorrow and then goooo to the gym and have a good workout, im gonna try to have a good workout everyday this vacation and then a good workout basically everyday, im really sick of being extra pudgy than i have to be.

The truth is, i feel better and more awake when i eat healthy foods and foods with a lot of fiber. when i eat really junky, i feel really junky. so tomorrow im not even going to say that im dieting im just going to say that im going to start to always!! eat healthy and try to 

goals: 1- get good workouts in
2- avoid fattening snacks and sugary (teeth!!)
3- do not eat when not hungry
4- when thinking about having a snack, drink some water instead.. then decide if for real hungry
5- eat healthy things with a lot of fiber
6- mainly just really think about what im eating and if that food is going to be good for my body
7- if i eat at work, try and get something healthy (not really possible) but a salad with chicken, then some chips isnt that bad

perfect thinspo for me. even tho im tired and depressed i think im gonna go to the gym today.

challenge

every single day i say that my diet will start tomorrow. so how about saying it one more time. i for reallllll am getting way toooo pudgy especially in the belly and arms. i really just want to look and feel thin. i need to lay off the junk food and obsessive eating. 

i also really need to not allow myself to go to school looking and dressing like shit. today was a horrible day and English just proved how set back i was and i seriously hated my life at that moment. i really need to just try to stay straight and confident and look good. 

some motivation at the gym and for eating good... think about that class and how much it makes me hate life. and think about all the chances i messed up and all the things i've missed out on because of my insecurities. i say this everyday, but maybe tomorrow will be the day that i really go on the right path to better myself. because i am absolutely sick of being who i currently am and i cant handle it anymore.

i HAVE to try and be better than i was yesterday (which was redic... a whole bag of munchkins??? really???). i have to try and do some tv exercises because i cant get to the gym in this snow. i really need to stay focused and stop shoveling junk food into my mouth. i eat sooooo much, but im not even worry about that i more worried about the fact that what im eating is basically pureeee fat (ex. munchkins and choc covered pretzels). i reaaallllly wanna look good and feel good. im probably so tired all the time becuase i dont eat healthy or exercise. i think that eating healthier and exercising more, i will be less tired and i will overall feel better, physically and mentally because ill look better.

good snacks to eat (becuase i know ill need to be eating them, will my never ending want for food): 

~jello

~low fat kettle corn

~low fat pudding (even with whipped cream if wanted)

~apples

~whole grain toast with pb (if prettttty hungry)